Home | funnuy movies | suttle jokes (or at least the background will make you think that ) | other drunken mad pictures

DRUNKEN MAD HUMOR

suttle jokes (or at least the background will make you think that )

poopie list

GHOST POOPIEThe kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIEThe kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIEThis happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIEThe kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIEThe kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIEIt's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIEThe kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIESelf explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIEThe kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIEThat's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump)The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIEThis poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it.  You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIEYou're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

Stuff that Annoys Me! 

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?


 When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

 When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you frigging pulled me over.

When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?

When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one god damn piece of paper!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

sunday school joke 
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' 

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' 

The Teacher fainted.

 

Learn Chinese, Easy!


Learn Chinese, Easy!

up yoursUp YOURS!

Enter supporting content here

the site that splits your sides literally